Putting Auld Lang Syne to rest along with Christmases past

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And the days of auld lang syne?”

Robert Burns

Robert Burn’s infamous poem, “Auld Lang Syne” has always been a homage to nostalgia. I think nostalgia sucks. If you ever sat on a couch alone in front of a fireplace at Christmas, you may have experienced this. It’s the rush of emotions as you think back on all of the Christmases past. Unfortunately, I do not have a fireplace in Rome. I had to settle for the annual Netflix “Yule Log” playing on my television screen to recreate the moment.

The point is nostalgia hits as you sit reliving years and years of holiday seasons. Those memories sit on the other side of an opaque window. Each year it becomes more cloudy–it separates Christmases past from Christmas present. It allows “auld lang syne” to set in and find its place, and with it, the risk of believing that things were better then.

In each of the previous five Christmases that preceded this year I felt as if I was just putting on the act. I was trying to be as spirited as possible when in my mind I just wanted it to be over. I believed there would not be a Christmas as good as those in the past. Auld lang syne was unbeatable. The years in the past would always be the better years.

I made a decision to kick auld lang syne’s ass out of my house and start celebrating

Something happened this year. I decided I was going to toss auld lang syne out the window. This year, I wanted to stop looking for something in the present that existed in Christmases past. This year would be different.

I love the magic and the lore of the season. It’s the one time we treat everyone a little better during the year. It’s undeniably more difficult to be an asshole at Christmas time. (That doesn’t apply if you find yourself in a shopping riot on Black Friday at a Walmart in America.)

In Italy, the traditional Christmas season begins on December 8 with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. That is the day in practice when Italians begin to usher in the Christmas season. One can see Christmas trees or alberi di Natale being carried into homes and decorations appearing in the windows.

I decided to start celebrating the holiday a little earlier. I had just returned from London and spent a wonderful week with my sister and brother-in-law in Rome before they returned to America to prepare for Thanksgiving with their family. It was a few weeks early, but I asked them to help me before they left.

We decked out the terrrace and planned where I would put all of the Christmas trees. It may seem excessive, but after four years in Europe, three homes and two countries, I have quite a collection of tinsel trees. Why not put them all to use?

My terrace is lit up like a highway 24-hour truck stop at night. I’m fairly certain if you fly into Rome’s Leonardo Da Vinci airport you can see my terrace from the sky. In fact, when driving in my neighborhood in central Rome, you can’t help but notice my very bright and very cheery terrace from the streets below.

People at the cafe just across the street have asked me if I have seen the terrace across the street. I feel a bit awkward when I have to admit it’s mine. However, they all seem to appreciate it. By European standards, it may be a bit excessive.

I knew that I wanted this year to be different. I was in Rome for God’s sake, the cradle of the Catholic Church and arguably the Christian capital of the world. It’s the place where once can visit the remains of St. Peter’s. There are over 900 churches in Rome alone, and over 1600 if you count private churches, chapels, and convents.

Now if you know me well, I am not a religious person. However, I am a spiritual person. Every one of those 1600 points of worship is a place where people over thousands of years have left a little bit of their spirit, their energy and their hope. Every place is a place for possibility and a place to celebrate something as powerful as the Spirit.

So for me, this year was a Christmas spirit coming-out party. As part of my celebrations for the season, I decided to finally do the things that I wanted to do in Italy at Christmas time but could not in the past. This was my recipe for creating the perfect Italian Christmas season.

The Christmas markets in the Dolomites

I have always wanted to see the Christmas markets in the Dolomites. It’s the alpine mountain region of Italy that borders Austria and Switzerland. Before World War I it was actually part of Austria. After the war, it was annexed to Italy from the former Austro-Hungarian empire in 1919.

Despite more than a century of Italian history, the region known as Alto Adige or South Tyrol, is remarkably still very Germanic with its seasonal celebrations, customs and language.

During the holiday season, many towns roll out the most beautiful Christmas markets with handmade arts and crafts from all over the region. It’s also the one place in Italy where you can find polenta with gorgonzola, sauerkraut, and Bavarian pretzels on the same menu. It’s a winter food paradise with hearty dishes, beer, and mulled wine.

I took the train to Bolzano and spent four nights relishing in the Dolomites surrounded by Italians, Germans, Austrians, and even some Americans. Everyone was there to enjoy the magic of Christmas in the Dolomites. It even snowed on the last day of my trip, which cemented the memory in my heart. This was special and magic and, it was Christmas in the present.

La Scala and Milan

Next on my list was a trip to Milan. I had dreamed of seeing the Nutcracker ballet in a proper Italian opera house, but I never imagined I would see it at La Scala, arguably the most famous opera house in the world established in 1778.

A few months before, I was talking with my friend Linda in France. We both discussed our desire to do something Christmasy with a touch of chic. So I investigated options and found The Nutcracker (in Italian Lo Schiaccianoci) was going to be at La Scala. This sounded like a great way to spend a weekend in December, and we agreed to go together. Linda would fly in from France, and I would take the train from Rome.

Milan is the Italian equivalent of New York City. During the holidays it is packed with Christmas shoppers and Christmas markets, and just like New York, it is completely decked out in holiday lights. The area around the Piazza del Duomo and the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II are at the center of all things Chrismtas in Milan.

It was beautiful and cold and wonderful. It was a magical lead into the final weeks of the holiday season. We enjoyed our weekend immensely.

L’aperitivo Natalizio

The final stop on my merry-making adventure was actually a personal challenge for me. In Italian they would say una sfida personale.

When I arrived in Italy four years ago, I dreamed of hosting a true Italian Christmas get-together. Everyone would speak Italian. The food, the drink, and the conversation, of course, would be Italian.

It would be a classic aperitivo italiano and perhaps it would be my indication that I had finally crossed an imaginary finish line in my transition to Italy.

As I mentioned before, the palazzo where I live is actually occupied by the descendants of the man who built the palazzo in the early 1900s. They are all related by blood or marriage with a few exceptions. After 8 months here, I’m still a bit of a curiosity to my neighbors.

It seemed to be the perfect time to show off my plethora of Christmas trees and introduce myself more socially in a way that everyone would enjoy. I made the decision and then realized I had to act fast with no turning back.

I printed out invitations and had the building porter deliver them to my neighbors. Once they were out, it was too late to change my mind. Even the building porter, Marco, asked me, “Luke, sei securo? Are you sure?”

On the night of the aperitivo I was of course anxious, but I had a “what’s the worst that could happen” attitude. This proved to be unnecessary as the night unfolded. Nothing bad happened. In fact, it was better than I could have expected.

My neighbors stayed well beyond the aperitivo hour, and it turned into dinner for many. By the end of the night, the food was gone, the empty Prosecco and wine bottles were piled high, and everyone agreed that we should make this an annual tradition. Honestly, they didn’t seem to want to leave.

As it turned out, it was the first time they had ever been brought together as neighbors to celebrate the holidays. We actually laughed at the idea that the first family Christmas aperitivo italiano was hosted by an americano. There were people that weren’t invited that just showed up randomly to meet me which made the surprise even better.

So of course, I love throwing a party. Perhaps I won’t wait until next Christmas to do it again. I learned so much about all of them, and they learned much about me. My first aperitivo italiano was a success and it was another unforgettable holiday moment that I created.

I wanted everything this Christmas except the hangover of auld lang syne

When I first investigated Robert Brown’s poem, “Auld Lange Syne” I didn’t realize there were question marks after the first two sentences. I didn’t understand it was a poem that posed a question.

Should you forget the past and the relationships and experiences you had and never think of them again? Well, of course we shouldn’t. However, it’s a choice in how we want to think about those experiences.

I think the poem goes even further, it tells you to honor those memories with simply a “cup of kindness”. Kindness to yourself and kindness to others. Robert Burns was Scottish, so a cup of kindness was probably a Scotch Whisky. I’m ok with that.

I also think he goes further and talks about the adventures we experience in life, and how wonderful they are, but also talks about the tribulations that follow.

Honestly, I had to find a translation of the poem to understand all of it, but it left with a better feeling seeing his words in their entirety. I think it summed up how this Christmas happened. If you are interested in the full version of Robert Burn’s poem and the translation, you can find it here.

We all know the song that is sung all over on New Year’s Day when the clock strikes midnight, but maybe it’s more than just a song. I think it’s an invitation to make a choice.

I’ll honor those Christmases past, the memories with my family and friends. They are impossible to forget, along with the tribulations that followed. But from now on, perhaps they need to stay in that place in the past and not haunt the present with their heavy feelings of nostalgia and the desire to return to them. It’s time to create new Christmases in the present that are equally enjoyable, just different.

Happy New Year and Buon Anno! May the good things of the season stay with you throughout the year.

Thanks for following along. I wanted to write this post because I can’t be the only one who thinks this way. We all have something that pulls us out of the present and into the past where we think life was better or we wish we could rewrite history. I hope that wherever you are at midnight tonight you find yourself in a place that makes you want to create and enjoy what is coming while honoring where you have been. Lots of love, Luke