“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.”
Rumi
I owe you an apology. I have been hiding something from you. Maybe not hiding, just not revealing everything. I thought I was done with closets, but I’m coming out, again! I’m dating someone. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, that’s probably not a surprise to you. However, there is another part that I haven’t shared publicly. The news is that I’m moving from Roma to Torino at the end of this month. I know it’s a double whammy, but I’d like to tell you about the path that led me here. I believe the story is worth the read.
When my sister and I visited Italy last September, a voice in my head kept telling me, “Go to Torino.” I had no idea why, but it was persistent. The strange thing was, other than a recommendation from my friend, Maurine, I only knew Torino for two things: the Shroud of Turin and the 2006 Winter Olympics. I considered traveling there by train, but my sister and I were having too much fun and I didn’t want to disrupt our agenda. I was able to shake Torino from my thoughts for the rest of our trip.
When I finally moved to Italy in February, the desire to see Torino came back in full-force. I decided to follow that feeling. I traveled there my first free weekend in March. My only expectations were: see snow-covered Alps in the distance and try some really good chocolate. As it turns out, Torino produces 40% of the chocolate consumed in Italy, and has a storied past steeped in chocolate. I had great expectations in the chocolate category.
Upon my arrival, I spent the first night walking around the historic landmarks and expansive piazzas. It was remarkably different from Rome. It looked more central European than the southern and central regions of Italy I had visited. The architecture was less Medieval and Romanesque, but more Baroque and Neoclassical. My first stop was Piazza Vittorio Veneto. It is among the largest piazzas in Europe, with beautiful porticos and expansive views of the nearby hills overlooking the River Po. Then there was Piazza Castello, adjacent to the beautiful Palazzo Reale di Torino, Italy’s first royal palace and the former residence of the Royal House of Savoy, Italy’s first royal family. I walked until midnight admiring everything I saw.
On day two, after hours of sight-seeing, I was strolling through Piazza San Carlo in the city center, and that’s when I met “the Italiano.” Actually, I met three Italiani, one guy and two miniature Italian greyhounds (piccoli livrieri). It was a triple-play of sorts. It was one of those Central Park New York romantic movie scenes: you bump into a guy with dogs, you admire the dogs first to break the ice, and then you admire the guy behind the dogs. We had enough mutual interest to agree to have a drink and enjoy the unusually warm March afternoon together. Over the course of our aperitivo, I revealed almost everything about my life to date. I have little shame these days, so I prefer to “open the kimono” wide and wait for the awkward reaction. The truth was, there was no awkward reaction. There was only compassion and understanding. I chose to surrender to the moment despite the suddenness of it. I didn’t attempt to slow, manipulate or stop it. I actually was surprised to find myself enjoying it. That first night ended at 11:00 after an unexpected performance of a modern interpretation of Hamlet in an ancient cemetery, but that’s a great story for another time.
The events of the last two years have taught me that when the Universe gives you a gift, you damn well better take it! I always knew I would meet somebody again. I never expected after four weeks in Italy he would drop right in front of me in the very same city that had been pulling at me for months. I believe some part of me knew I had to be in Torino on March 9, 2019 and in Piazza San Carlo at 5:00 p.m. Life began messaging me months in advance to be ready for the gift when it finally presented itself. I just needed to show up and claim it.
I think that’s how life’s gifts work. They are all readying themselves for me to show up and take them. Despite the tremendous sadness over the last two years, there is a gift underneath all of that tragedy. The gift is that I have to learn to live, love and trust myself again, before I can expect that of someone else. I depended on Darin to provide much of my love, confidence, and approval. I didn’t always show up for myself.
I also have to learn to take risks again. My former life didn’t require many decisions around risk. It worked beautifully in its own controlled way. Now that my future is uncertain, risk is a tool. Risk and vulnerability create those amazing “what-if” scenarios in life that allow you to explore different tributaries of the same river. I believe they always float you back to where you need to be, but in the process, you find something different and exciting. You find something that fans your flames.
I don’t know how this will end, but I do know this. If I choose not to take the leap, I am closing a door to potential happiness. There is definite loss in saying no to this opportunity, but I cannot find any loss in saying yes. Perhaps my decision is hasty, perhaps my heart will break, perhaps..perhaps..perhaps. Fear could stop me dead in my tracks if I let it. I spent so much of my life fearing the “what-if” that never comes to pass. Now I want to take chances and surround myself with experiences and individuals that force my life to burn bright with joy and excitement even if there is the risk of failure or heart break.
We don’t choose how we enter or how we exit this life, but we do get to choose how we play our time in between. I may not always play to win, but I hope I always play to burn!
Perhaps you’ll feel comfortable enough to share your own serendipitous love or life experience in the comments section of this post. I would love to hear about it, and I think other readers would as well. Thank you for following The Spaghetti Diaries. Because of your interest and sharing, I have readers in 35 countries representing six continents. Now that is a gift!
If chocolate is your thing, check out this great article on the history and art of chocolate in Torino: www.browsingitaly.com/piedmont/turin-chocolate-heaven/2641/. Photos of Torino and many places I noted in the blog can be found in my photographs: https://thespaghettidiaries.com/favorite-things/
Jump in with both feet!
FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real.
LIVE! LOVE!
All will flow on the current it was meant to ride on.
Love you! 💜
TRUTH!!! Live, love and then current will bring you back! Thank you!! Sending love to you!!!
I believe in the power of love 🙏🏼❤️
Alexandra, Si!!! L’amore è persistente e trova sempre il suo percorso.
Live, love,life and chocolate Lucca!!
Gina and I are so happy for you and Alessandro! We were in Laguna at an “Art of Pasta making class and you were in our thoughts! We made homemade— spaghetti,cavetelli, tortelinni and more. You would have loved it!!!
Ciao my friend. Love u Lucca!!!!
Live, Love, Life & Chocolate! If there were four things everyone should remember..it’s these! Thank you for being happy! The thought of you two making pasta give me love-bumps! I would have enjoyed that very much! My passion for pasta these days seems to be: tonarelli, gnocchi palate-fatto a mano, and the dozens of flavor stuffed tortellini I keep discovering! In my fridge is pistachio, pecorino and radicchio tortellini. I cannot wait to try it out with walnut pesto!! Ho fame! XOXO Sending Love!!!! Ciao Ciao!!
Hey Luke! I am so happy for you! I definitely could tell you we’re dating from your pics. Very handsome and he sounds absolutely perfect. Just what you needed at the time you needed him to appear in your life. The universe is a beautiful thing! The move to Torino doesn’t surprise me. I didn’t think you were destined to stay in the big city. I always thought you would end up in a quaint little town with character to match your style and sense of adventure. And CHOCOLATE…definite gamer changer, how could you say no! Now is there peanut butter cookies to go with the chocolate!?! Then you’re definitely hooked! 😉
I miss you dearly my friend and think of you often. So glad the stars have aligned for you as you live your best life. Keep these posts coming. I love hearing about your latest and greatest life discoveries.
Love ya! 🥰
Dee Dee (aka…Deedster!)
Deedster! (You’ll always be that to me)…
Thank you for your note..yes, at some point you just start posting the pics and telling the story that brings you joy! He is very handsome and he perfectly tolerates me :). He is teaching me much about Italy..and challenging my Italian language skills too! Torino is definitely a wonderful city…you and Fred would love it! The good news is I found peanut butter on Amazon Italy…I haven’t introduced my friends to those cookies yet..but they are coming! I loved the pictures from Hawaii..and Dez is getting big! So glad you went to Mama’s Fish House too! I love that place!
I miss you dearly too and think about you often! The stars have aligned..and I’m taking advantage of them! XOXO to you, Fred, Steph, Neil and Dez!
Luke,
No apology is required my friend!
I found myself smiling when reading this beautiful story. I know you will find love again and I hope this new man is the beginning of your next love story.
Believing in destiny and romance fills our hearts with great joy and helps make the “dash” more meaningful!❤️
Love and hugs always.
Laura 😘
XOXOXO
Laura, Thank you!
It’s definitely the beginning of something good! Even though my time in Roma is ending, it’s beginning something new in Torino! I am so glad to have you mention the “dash.” I won’t forget our discussion and your advice about the in-between. Here’s to showing me how to make the dash count!
Love and hugs to Roberts!
You know that I wish you the best of all things. Your journey has become a light for others and may well help your readers to take chances and live life to the fullest. I am sure there is a beautiful way to say it in Italiano but my mind keeps letting the Italian melt away in oblivion. I know you have guardian angels in spirit and on earth. All my love to you both!! Sis.
Sis, Grazie mille..1,000 “thank yous” for being a light for me..and helping me live my best life. I feel the presence of those who love us but from a difference place now and I certainly feel the love of whose journey continues here along with me. Thank you for being such an important part of this journey!
Sending love…Ci vediamo in Italia!!
Oh Luke! I am so so very happy for you! You are an amazing person and a fabulous role model. You deserve the world!! I can see the happiness coming back to your smile! 😘💕
Sandi,
Thank you! Those are wonderfully kind things to say and I am feeling those happy feelings again! It is good to return to a place where happiness can coexist with life’s contrasts. Hugs to you! Sending love from Torino today!
So happy for you my dear friend Luke.
I believe in the power of love.💜
And You KNOW I believe in the power of Chocolate. 🍫🍫😉
Thank you! I think chocolate could not exist without love! I’m sure it was created by someone who was in love! I wouldn’t want to live in a world without either of them! 🙂
How lovely to read you found new love! In the end, it is the greatest gift in life. And Torino, such a wonderful city. Like you said, something completely different from Rome. The southern italians I know, don’t even consider it their country. To them it’s France 😉 I, on the other hand, truly loved it. Chocolate, cars, the galleries, … what’s not to love, right? Wishing you a wonderful time. Enjoy the city. Enjoy each other!
Claire,
Thank you for the wonderful comment. I agree with you on all fronts! Wonderful to find love in a beautiful city with beautiful people. The more time I spend between Roma & Torino..the more obvious the differences are between these two beautiful places. The chocolate, the galleries, the architecture..tutti meravigliosi! Grazie mille for your comments and for enjoying the post.
I remember just before my 20th birthday I had this compelling urge to go to a local restaurant by myself; something completely out of character for me. I met this amazing guy that night and, after 4 months of almost daily phone calls, I decided to take the risk and fly 3,000 miles away to be with him. I remember thinking to myself that I had no idea how this would end, but I knew that if I didn’t take the risk I would regret it for the rest of my life. I was willing to risk heartbreak, but I was not willing to live with the regrets and the “what ifs”. I wasn’t flying across the ocean, but when you are 20 years old and all you really know is in New England, it might as well have been to the moon. That was 43 years ago and I’m happy to say, we will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary this year. Thank God for whispers from the universe – they lead us to unbelievably magical places. So happy for you and Alessandro – keep enjoying the journey.
Carla,
Now this is a beautiful story of taking chances and following your heart when your mind says, “Are you sure about this?” This is exactly what we are to do and no matter what we find on the other side, we are better for it. Thank you for sharing your story of serendipitous love! Congratulations to you and Dick on having 43 amazing years of moments! Any leap across miles or oceans is a big one and one worth taking for love or happiness! Imagine all of the missed opportunities if we said no…👎🏻. I am thankful for every time I say yes and something amazing comes from it! Sending love and know that I think about you often and am reminded of how our great friendship started with a yes!
Ya, the universe can be kinda nice sometimes.
I’m looking forward to all the great stories!
Thank you Tony! I have to agree! Thanks for following and I hope to give you great stories that keep you coming back for more.
So glad that you are happy! Perhaps you are thinking of you now. Grieving less is a good thing because you move from sadness from something that ended to pure joy that it DID happen!!! A book has chapters and so do people. Imagine if we let the past drive who we become or continue to be. You and I would still be talking with that NE Ohio/SE Pennsylvania accent!!!! Your story so far doesn’t define you, … but it will always be a major ingredient in the recipe of how you will go on. I am so so SO happy for you!!!! Roberto
Beautiful words my friend! The past cannot be changed or returned to, so in the now and where we want to go is where we focus. The fibers from our history are ever present but they only contribute to the tapestry we are becoming. Those accents are long gone but what a great place it was to grow up. Every day I am reminded of the traditions that we had that are still present in Italy..as well as some colorful phrases from the past. Yes, my vocabulary is growing and many of the expressions my grandparents used are now familiar again. Thank you for being happy for me and for being a friend for so many years. Sending love from Italy to you and Keith!