“Write a list of things that are going to get better, start with you.”
Unknown
Feeling horrible and powerless
Am I the only one who thinks someone aimed a firehose at my mouth, turned on the spigot full force, and said, “Drink!” So much has converged the last few weeks. I find myself whispering to myself, “It’s ok to feel horrible…it’s ok to feel horrible…just don’t turn horrible!”
Before I go further, some data to ponder. On average the world is losing roughly 6500 people per day due to Covid-19. The average town size in the US is 6200 people, based on Newgeogrpahy.com. That means, every day in the world, one small US town’s worth of people are disappearing specifically because of this virus. Now imagine that each person touches 20-30 people, families, friends or colleagues – that’s 125,000-180,000 new people each day affected by loss. That’s a lot of sadness and anxiety hitting all at once. It’s like a radio antenna broadcasting fear, anger and discomfort, being amplified daily by the impact of loss.
As I mentioned in my last post, the world is collectively mourning the death of socialization, comfort, convenience and security. So, the flipside of this is, we need to counter that with an astonishing amount of hope and acts of kindness–those things that generate compassion, signify selflessness for each other and instill common love. I believe a little love and compassion will go a very long way in offsetting negativity. Again, it’s ok to feel horrible and powerless, just don’t be horrible and powerless. Find the need and step into the solution.
Morning coffee with a side of anxiety
Yesterday morning there were two headlines that caught my attention and prodded me to put feelings into words. I’m not sure if you will think they fit together, but in my mind they did. They represented the juxtapositions of how my two home countries are experiencing the current situation and the challenges ahead:
- “Coronavirus, the Nightmare of Poverty Explodes in Torino: Crowds and Queues in Front of the Monte dei Pegni.” La Stampa – Torino, Italia
- “Protesters decry stay-at-home orders in Maryland, Texas and Ohio capitals.” The Guardian – London, UK
Making ends meet
The Monte dei Pegni is one of Torino’s oldest lending institutions. It is based on the premise of a pawn shop with little or no interest charged for the loan. Locals bring in their valuables and receive 30-40% of the value. They pledge to repay the loan in a fixed-period or the item will be sold to recoup the loan.
The concept started over 500 years ago by the Franciscan order of monks to assist people with interest free loans in Italia. Today it is a valuable lifeline as hundreds line up in the morning to exchange a personal item of value for a loan to offset their losses. They leave jewelry and family heirlooms in order to feed themselves, pay rent, or cover their utilities. I can’t help but wonder how many families will never see their heirloom again.
This scene is just beginning to play out all over the world as the immediate effects of a closed economy are revealed. Lost wages lead to scarcity of food, loss of housing and the rest of the basic needs. Much of this job loss may be temporary, but nobody really knows how many and how quickly jobs will come back. We do know that there will be a lot of need for the foreseeable future. For those who have something to give, there will be an abundance of opportunity to put love back into the world.
Grandstanding to divide and conquer
The second article angers me in my belly, because I can’t understand the motivations underneath these actions. It simply looks stupid, irresponsible and selfish. The US has only started to confine seriously in the last 3-4 weeks, but already a small but growing group of people are putting their individual needs in front of the greater good and masking it under rights infringement.
I understand the cautionary tale of a government that whittles away at the freedoms of its people and never restores them. But that’s not what really is happening here. I don’t get the sense these individuals are protesting for loss of jobs or income. One doesn’t need an AK-47 and a Confederate flag to solve an economic problem. They are exploiting this as a means to propagate intolerance and potential violence.
I am willing to exchange one freedom temporarily to get something in return. The prize here is fewer lost lives, a faster return to something that resembles life before the virus, while maintaining a sense of grace.
I’d have more respect for these rallies if they actually took the same risk to contribute to society by raising money for food banks or other charitable causes that are in desperate need. This is simply bigotry and hate, under the cloak of the US Constitution’s 1st Amendment rights (hint…ditch the confederate flag if you want to seem more credible.) It’s divisive and destructive when the world needs unity and collaboration.
Forget everything I just said
I recognize there is not a lot of positivity in this post, but you gotta speak your truth. My intention is not to leave you feeling hopeless. The point is, it’s understandable to feel horrible and uncomfortable during this time. The goal is not to let it affect that beautiful permanent piece inside of all of us that remains pure, good and untouchable by fear and hate.
So how do I wrap all of this up into something that helps me move forward?
- Find a need and fill it however you can.
- Offset the negative with compassionate acts of kindness.
- Listen to the experts, not the grandstanders and the attention-grabbers.
- Reset priorities: What will you keep and what will you leave behind?
- Know that it’s ok to feel horrible…just don’t let it make you horrible.
I look forward to seeing all of you on the other side of this challenge. I honestly believe all will be well. It will be different, but well. #andràtuttobene
Luke
thank you Luke…..alway enjoy reading your insightful posts. Sad to have left our Italian home but now getting used to a new normal here in California. Sharing much of the same sentiments ~ here’s to HOPE and a new collective kinder humanity ! Stay safe, be well. Andra tutto bene.
Lisa, I’m glad you are well and adjusting to the new norm in California. I think a lot of us are in this strange gap between then and what’s next..so we have to find the best way to fill the now. I know a lot of my friends in California are missing their beaches, skiing, and social hours – but it seems California has planned well and spared people from the worst of it. You be well my friend and hope our paths cross in the same continent. Andrà tutto bene! 🙂
Well stated Luke! Thanks for your words and encouragement!
Wishing you all the best,
Julie and Kent ♥️
Thank you, Julie! I wish you and Kent health and good blessings! Sending a big bacio & abbracio to Palm Desert to you both!
Once again… you are so real, so right and so vividly able to express what we all feel. To see the numbers… my heart is breaking. I agree we will be okay and it will be different. I’m even ok with that. What I am thoroughly embarrassed by is the way the US has responded in every way. I have family in Italy, friends in France and Germany and other countries who just don’t get how we can be so selfishly divided here!
I am embarrassed by our President and the national response to DEATH. Many unnecessary deaths!
Please stay safe and thank you for another beautiful and right on post. Grazie mi fratello!!!
Hello my friend! I hope this all settles and you, Keith and I can share some wine in Europe soon! Yes, it’s hard to see through all the fog and haze right now, and I seem to have this spring of tears that sits just below the surface waiting to be tapped. I recently read that it’s ok to schedule some crying time and recess for yourself! Yikes, who would have thought we would have home-schooling, so many people making sourdough bread starter at home, and scheduled recess and crying time for adults! Your family and friends in Europe are well taken care of I hope…and yes, there is definitely a focus on the human side of the equation here. The resilience of the European people is astounding – and so is the American resilience. We will be better individuals after this. Baci & abbracci to you both! Non vedo l’ora di vedervi.
It’s a very strange time… some people are getting very angry at the Shelter in Place and are getting anxious. People are missing social interaction and it appears we may need another month of shelter in place at minimum so I am concerned at how the masses will react and the unemployed survive. Gun sales are surging which is concerning on so many levels. On the other hand, families are finding time to really bond and talk to one another and that’s wonderful. I hope families don’t go back to their stressed out schedules and forget about the family time they’ve enjoyed during these times. I miss my family but I’m grateful I have Justin, Marina and little Jax at home. I’m happy that you are with Maurine and that you two are not alone. This will pass and we will go back to a new normal. We will adjust and adapt.
Linda – you are right. This shelter in place order is difficult – here it has been 7 weeks almost. it’s definitely difficult not having the same human connection we are used to, and at the same time, there is so much unknown. Familes are finding much needed time together and there are collateral benefits. I agree – I hope we use this time as an inflection point to change how we live going forward. I am happy to be here with Maurine and we have been keeping each other entertained – that’s a blessing! I’m glad you have the family close – and know that I think of you often. Sending love and yes..looking forward to the new normal. Much love!
Lucca,
You nailed how we are all feeling! Love your advice and insights. It is okay to feel horrible and a bit out of sorts from time to time. And if “ the time to time” lingers that is okay too because it will pass when we are ready for it to pass!
Stay strong, stay safe and keep writing and sharing your insights!
We love you!
Bye from the US of A!!!!
Finally took the time to read your blog and you hit the nail on the head. I have been steady focusing on making masks and donating them where needed. It seems the need has slowed down.
It is a super scary time and I’ve had my crying time. I miss socializing and family time. I want to travel and visit but will do my part until it’s safe. I’m still working in our small office and seeing no one but UPS and Fed Ex. Dan is working as plumbing and home repairs are absolutely necessary. We have been fortunate and not had any loss of income.
I have enjoyed seeing lots of families walking, bicycling and just spending time outside. I do think this virus has forced families to get to know one another again and make the best of this bad situation. Politics aside, if we do our part and stay positive, this too shall pass. I do not listen to hear say and have no strong opinion either way. If I see a need, I try to fulfill it and help in any way possible.
As always, I love to hear from you. I love and miss you.
Thank you! What a wonderful thing to use your sewing skills..to help out people who needs masks. I could use some here in France! 🙂 I finally found a few cloth ones that I could purchase. It is definitely a strange time – and lots of tears are being shed around the world. I’d like to think those tears are going to bring about change in how we interact with each other, the time we spend with our family and loved ones, and the value of interpersonal relationships.
I love you too! And know that things will be different – but they will be ok! Life will be good again..and hopefully we will change for the better! Big hugs XOXO to you, Dan and Jessie!
Thank you for your post.
Being here in the United States, in Texas, in the 4th largest city in the country, it is completely surreal. Just a lot of confusion and politics. At one time we were told NOT to wear masks. As of next Monday, we will be required to cover our noses and mouths in public. We are being told to stay at home, yet I have to go to work. We are being told to stay at home, and the governor is going to open up restaurants and movie theaters next week.
I am struggling to express my emotions. Maybe just to let you know that what the people and leaders of the United States are doing is just as confusing from where I live.
Big Bear Hug,
Brian
Brian, so much information overload right now. It sounds like Texas will attempt reopening soon – and I hope things stay under control. I think everyone is dealing with emotion overload – fear, anxiety, stress, you name it. For me personally I had to just accept that what I am feeling is completely abnormally normal (if that makes sense) for right now.
Giving ourselves the room to be uncomfortable, a bit frightened and anxious..it’s like a big bear hug to yourself!
You be well..and keep me posted!
Loved it!!
Thank you Sis! I appreciate our 5:00 walk conversations more than you know! XOXO
Fortunately/unfortunately you were spot on with your review of those two scenarios. If the US would’ve followed Europe’s path from the get-go we wouldn’t be in the condition we are in now and getting worse. There’s a lot more evil going on here than just a coronavirus. And it’s come to the surface big-time. Thank you for continuing to remind us. To see the good and not evil and everything. There are so many upsides to this coronavirus. As others have pointed out before me just the fact that families are actually connecting and communicating and hanging out with each other and doing stuff that they never had time for before is huge. To me that’s the best part.
Stay well!
Toni my friend! I know, it seems as if the world has gone upside down a bit. I’m always trying to search for the meaning – sometimes life makes is abundantly clear, and sometimes you really need to dig for it. But as I say, pain is never wasted..so I believe as difficult as times are, there’s an end point here that will get us to a better place. As you mention, families are coming together in ways we never thought we could return to in our time. Perhaps that’s the message. That could be my naive optimism, but the alternative is just too gloomy. Be well..stay well and know that when you make it to Italia..I hope to see you! Best, Luke