I had no intentions of going out Sunday night. It was one of my few free weekend evenings, and I was exhausted when the message from Giovanni appeared on my cell phone. I had a lot of reasons to say no, but something told me this was a what if or why not moment.
It was simple, “Hey, what are you doing? If you want, let’s have a drink. We’ll meet and see what happens….?”
Actually, in Italian it was “Ciao..che fai stasera? Se vuoi, prendiamo qualcosa da bere. Ci incontreremo e poi…”
I had met Giovanni online a few days before, and although we had chatted quite a bit, I had not met him in person. Immediately my mind hit the endless loop of “what ifs” that it likes to cycle through when something interesting but uncomfortable presents itself to me. It was the “…” that had me worried most? What would this night hold? What would happen after the drink? It was obvious what it implied.
It’s that constant reminder that risk and reward are not mutually exclusive, and you have to go out on a limb to get to the fruit (pardon the pun).
So despite my cautionary senses, I agreed to meet for a drink.
It turned out to be a great evening. We talked about our lives here, our families, and what brought us to Rome. Giovanni is from Naples and works in entertainment production.
Because he speaks with il dialetto napoletano, there were a lot of phrases I didn’t quite comprehend.
After we talked for two hours, Giovanni then invited me back to his place for a nightcap. It’s now after midnight. My circadian clock was starting to sound an alarm for bedtime. I tried to find a reason not to go. All I could think of was Sofia sitting in the apartment alone. But I was certain she was already tucked into her dog bed and would not be waiting for me.
The list of what ifs was dwarfed by my sense of why not. So I said, “Volentieri!” which is the equivalent of, “I do so happily.” Then came the catch.
There’s always a catch behind a why not.
Once you say “why not” you have to go all-in
The next battle of what ifs happened when Giovanni said we would ride his scooter, a two-seater Piaggio. I was planning on taking an Uber, but he would not take no for an answer. And of course, he had a second helmet under the seat.
My heart raced, and I immediately thought, “What if we crash and die? I don’t want to be a statistic in the morning Rome newspaper, La Repubblica. Who will take care of Sofia? What if nobody knows I’m gone? I don’t even know this guy. What if I never return?”
But then “Why not” kicked in. I had never ridden a scooter in Rome and certainly not strapped behind a tall, dark and handsome napoletano–why not say yes? Perhaps this was an opportunity and not a risk? Maybe this was a chance to turn my what if into a why not and throw a little caution to the wind and accept the adrenaline rush of something new and different.
I love adventure when it’s accompanied by a plan B and a plan C. In hindsight, I have lived a life managing around the what ifs instead of jumping at the why nots.
This time there was only plan A, and damn plan A was exciting.
Without thinking any further, I grabbed the helmet, swung my leg around the seat of the scooter and figuratively and literally held on tight to Giovanni as we took off in the direction of the Colosseum and the Roman Forum. It was midnight and the streets were empty, which made the ride a bit less daunting.
It took a few minutes for me to become comfortable. However, once I relaxed and just let the vibration of the Piaggio’s tires on the cobblestone streets take over, I was lulled into an almost dream state. I only had to do one thing..open my eyes and enjoy. Oh, and hold on tight to Giovanni, which was easy.
That experience of zipping through the magically lit streets of the Eternal City still exists in my mind as if it happened yesterday.
The magic of Rome at night
If one came to visit Rome this month, you would find the streets bustling with tourists during the day. They spill out of cafes, restaurants and bars onto the main thoroughfares speaking German, English, Japanese, French, Dutch, Arabic, and a dozen other languages. But after midnight, it seems as if the ancient Romans arise from their slumber to take back their city.
Haunting beauty is everywhere. History awaits rediscovery behind the yellowish orange glow of dramatic lighting designed to ignite one’s imagination.
Giovanni sensed my wide-eyed juvenile excitement and did a bit of a tour de force around Rome’s ancient ruins. I knew he was going out of his way, and I appreciated his willingness to satisfy my reawakened spirit of adventure.
The only thing in my head at that point was gratitude. Gratitude for taking the risk, gratitude for Giovanni’s willingness to indulge in my adventure, and gratitude for all that this day brought. Tomorrow would be another day of what ifs, but today the why nots proved to be the right choice.
L’arte di arrangiarsi
It’s hard to explain how Rome can turn your what ifs into why nots, but I see it happen everywhere. It is the spirit of “Benvenuti” that exists here. It’s the spirit of adventure and living in the moment.
You will hear a million times over that Rome is complicated, bureaucratic, dirty and poorly managed. I challenge you to experience the Romans and not feel the same sense of warmth and willingness to help that I feel every day. It is a common character trait among the people of southern Italy.
Here when things seem impossible there is somebody usually able to offer a why not alternative to help you out. The expression my friend Alessandra shared with me is called “l’arte di arrangiarsi” the art of figuring things out.
In general, I find that when I need something out of the ordinary, somebody knows someone who can make it happen. Somebody is there to say why not instead of what if.
When I lived in France, it seemed a bit more difficult to find the ingenuity in people to help you sort through a difficult process. It could have been the language barrier or the situation, but usually, if a barrier was impassable it remained impassable.
In Italia, I find locals are familiar with overcoming the barriers, and willing to take the chances to find the solution and greater splendor in life.
Why not was the right choice.
I returned at 3:30 in the morning. Sofia woke up and simply looked at me with a face that said, “Where the hell have you been all night?”
I couldn’t explain to Sofia the adrenaline rush of the evening, the sights I had seen, and the fears I had overcome.
I’m sure she wouldn’t have understood my newfound respect for Romans with Piaggio scooters.
I went to bed that night (well..the next morning) with thoughts about the the years of saying no when I probably should have said yes. How many magical and romantic scooter rides did I pass up out of fear.
I say to myself often, “What is meant for you will not pass you by.” So perhaps I wouldn’t have had quite the same experience as I did that evening.
I do know one thing. If I ever find a permanent lover in Rome, he better drive a Piaggio.
Thank you for following along. I hope you enjoyed my midnight tour of Rome. In the next issue, we’ll be talking about sex again. There’s no shortage of sex in Rome, and the stories it creates are unforgettable. I’ll share with you a few hilarious moments I’ve had with pharmacists and doctors in Rome. Stay tuned, and please comment if you’d like to join the conversation. If you like this post, share it on your social media page. Enjoy the sizzling summer, and I hope you have your own midnight tour seated behind somebody that makes you sizzle!