“Man plans, and God laughs.”
Yiddish Proverb
Is it too cliché to say that a lot has happened since we last talked?
When I closed the keyboard on my last post, I had already planned the next update. My original idea was to tell you about how wonderful my experience in Puglia was (which it was). I met so many interesting people, found myself in the most beautiful baroque cities and medieval villages and got lost in fields of olive trees that stretched well beyond the horizon.
I had the photos ready and the message articulated. All I needed to do was sit at my keyboard and fill in the blanks. And then suddenly, December happened.
It seemed as everything that was planned over the last several weeks shifted under my feet. Some news was welcomed while other news was not. I was reminded of the fragility of life, the importance of resilience and the unexpected surprise of friends and helpers along the way.
When the month started I had absolutely no idea that I would end up in Roma. However, through a crazy series of man plans and God laughs moments. Here I sit, just a few days before Christmas.
Let me start with the easiest one first. It’s the disruption I created willingly.
Luke plans and God laughs
After spending two months in Italia, the decision was obvious to me. I needed to move back to Italia, but I needed time to figure out where in Italia. As much as France and its community welcomed, nurtured and cared for me during the pandemic, my time there was coming to a close.
The first step I had to make was to understand what it would take to sell my house. The expectation in my man plans and God laughs story was that it would take several months before I would find a buyer. I knew the housing market is significantly slower in Europe than in America, I couldn’t expect a fast sell, but it required patience and time.
It’s the holidays, with a pandemic in the background. Not a lot of people are looking to make a major life purchase, right?
After talking with a few realtors, they suggested it was best to start the process now while I was traveling. They assured me I would have plenty of time to work through the details of the sale once I returned to France in January.
So, I put the order to the Universe, “Hello Divine. It’s Luke. I would like to sell my house in France. Please make it so. While you’re doing that, can you also help me decide on my next home in the process?”
Here comes the “and God laughs” moment. Just seven days after I gave the realtor the go-ahead to sell the house, I received my first offer. Apparently the right couple just happened to be looking at the right time for the right house before Christmas.
After a few days of negotiating we signed a formal proposal. What could have been daunting and time consuming, seemed to have happened with little effort and interference on my part. I just simply had to be clear what I wanted.
The rest began to fall into place. Even my realtor was a gift. I was fortunate to have a friend refer me to a complete stranger who happened to be great at what he does. He was quite willing to pick up the slack while I was soul-searching in Italia.
Of course it’s not final until it’s final. There are a few more steps to take before the deal is truly done, but if all goes well, I’ll be moving by April 15 and on to the next iteration of my journey.
Christmas plans with friends
While this was happening, I was talking back and forth with friends from America. They were going on a tour of the European Christmas markets. After they finished their tour, we had planned for months to meet in Italia and spend Christmas together. I was very much looking forward to seeing them and having familiar faces with me for the holidays.
Just weeks before their arrival, things began to fall apart. Austria went into a lockdown. Germany closed its beloved Christmas markets, and much of Europe tensed with the latest variant of COVID. Finally, the tour they had booked cancelled entirely. As much as they wanted to travel they decided it was better to remain in America. There was too much uncertainty to be traveling in Europe at the time.
Although I understood the situation, I was certainly disappointed not to see them. This time when man plans and God laughs-didn’t seem so funny.
Luke plans again, and God gives him a snow day
So I pulled together a new plan for Christmas. I had my car and could go anywhere in Italia. There was nothing pressing to deal with in France thanks to my realtor. Why not spend December touring Italia and visiting some of the most beautiful cities at their holiday best: Perugia, Verona, Milano and Treviso? I imagined that with Sofia and loads of Christmas spirit around me, I would find some of that holiday magic that I had lost many years ago when Darin left my life.
But first, I decided to spend a few days with a family that I adore like my own. They live in the region of Molise next to Puglia. My sister and I met them four-years ago when we became citizens. Although we haven’t seen each other in over two-years, each one remains special to me; Mamma Gina, papà Paolo, Martina, Pierdidomenico and Mariarita.
Driving from Puglia to Molise, I pictured myself sitting at their dinner table, laughing and sharing our stories from the last two years. It felt like a good way to deal with these sudden changes. I knew I would feel better after seeing them.
The first night when I arrived, it was exactly as I imagined. We gathered around the fireplace, drank wine and told our stories as we waited for the dinner that Mamma Gina was preparing. We talked about their lives and the happenings in their village. They laughed at my stories from France and Italia. It was the perfect way to begin December after a few surprise changes.
The next morning we drove to the mountains to see the season’s first big snowfall. I felt the spirit of the holidays creeping slowly back into me and the connection with loved ones. What a beautiful morning that was.
Here are some pictures and a video from the morning in the mountains.
The best plan is “una cosa alla volta”
On my second night in Molise, after our day in the snow, I went to bed with a heart full of memories. I was reminded what the holiday season is about. Spending time with family and friends and being surrounded by love.
I was still awake when my cellular phone rang at 1:30 a.m. It was my niece in Florida telling me that my sister was in the hospital and would undergo an urgent surgery in the next few days.
I have told you before just how close I am to my sister and my family in Florida. It was never a questions of whether I would be there, but a question of how quickly could I be there. Actually, how quickly “we” could be in Florida. There was no way I was leaving Sofia behind.
I slept a few hours that night, but I remained somewhat mentally paralyzed. I couldn’t see the steps forward to make all of this happen. The thought of my sister’s health being in jeopardy weighed heavy on me, as well as the understanding I had to figure out a lot of things with not a lot of time to spare. I had to find an airport, find a flight and find a place to leave my car for an uncertain amount of time. Then there were the complications of traveling internationally with a dog and a pandemic. I was emotionally stuck.
I called my family in Molise the next morning to tell them. Their first response was, “Come over here and we’ll figure it out over a caffè.” It suddenly dawned on me that I was going to need their help, and they are already prepared to give it. This is where the “helpers” came into the picture. They knew I needed them before I knew I needed them. My treasured family in Molise took control when I couldn’t.
Papà Paolo became the squad leader. He knew everybody that could assist with Sofia and the required paperwork to leave Italia, from the veterinarian who examined her and updated her passport, to the person at the health ministry that would make sure there were no problems bringing Sofia back into Italia.
Every time we hit a roadblock or if I became anxious, Paolo would say, “Luca, una cosa alla volta.” In other words, “One thing at a time.”
My helpers were a little army. Martina stuck with me for two days assisting me with language and peace of mind while I got through the process. Mamma Gina was there to put her hand on mine and let me cry a bit if I needed. She would then do what mothers do and assure we with confidence that everything would be ok, reminding me, “Una cosa alla volta.” Mariarita kept Sofia entertained and watched her like her own. Pierdidomenico kept my mind on the future with strategic conversations about the future of his business.
When I finally left my family in Molise on the third day, I was as prepared as I could be for the travel days ahead. I left with a heart full of appreciation, and tears in my eyes. I left with the hope that I could be the same helper for somebody else, as my family in Molise was for me. Someone, who like me, needs an army when they can’t fight the battle on their own.
Roma to Florida and back again
I arrived in Roma and had the help of my friend Sara and her mother. I was able to leave my car at their house for as long as I would need to while I was gone. Sara even coordinated my pre-flight COVID test and drove me to the airport to see me off.
When I finally settled into the hotel at the airport the night before my flight, I collapsed both physically and emotionally. I was in awe of the small but might army of helpers the Divine assembled in 48-hours to usher me safely to where I needed to be, with my sister and my family in Florida.
I can share this good news with you. My sister is doing well and is making a full recovery at home. She is going to be better than before. Thank God.
While I was in Florida I was able to spend time with my niece and nephews and their families. I cooked a bit, cleaned a bit and even babysat. I was happy to be there doing the things I could do to be as useful as possible while all of us had our attention on my sister.
Man plans, and God laughs…and then God delivers a better plan.
When I felt it was ok to leave, I booked my flight back to Italia. This time, I could only plan for the next step. I would settle in Roma for a week, rest and recenter myself from the last month. Then prepare for Christmas.
Everything that happened actually worked out for the best. I became closer with my family in Molise and learned a very important lesson about reliance.
I was able to be with my sister and her family when they needed me the most.
If my friends would have arrived from America as planned, I wouldn’t have been here for them they way I wanted to be.
Finally, being in Roma has convinced me that perhaps I need to return here to where my European journey started three years ago. I realized how fond I am of Roma, it’s people, neighborhoods and eternal history.
I’ll spend Christmas in France with my friend Linda and maybe return to Roma for a few more weeks to explore the city with a different perspective.
That’s it, I have no plans other than that. “Una cosa alla volta.”
Thanks to you and to everyone that made me smile.
Each time I think I have it figured out, I am reminded to stay out of the way of the ultimate authority in life…the Devine creator. It knows best and only wants me to be my best so that I can share that with others. I have always set the compass on where I want to be, but I am continually learning to leave the–how do I get there–open.
Throughout my three months in Italia there were remarkable families and people I met along the way. Each one of them left me with something to be grateful for this season. I dedicate this post to them, my helpers.
Whether you are with family, friends or perhaps you find yourself among helpers, I wish you a wonderful Christmas. I hope that 2022 brings you the abundance of love you deserve! Thank you for following along with me this year. Sending you love and warmth from Italia.
